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Majona’s Journey to Self Love and Acceptance
Various forms of abuse were consistent throughout my childhood, as is a horrific truth for many children. Sadly, my mother was incredibly self-absorbed, and likely had an undiagnosed emotional disorder. Her inattentiveness resulted in a physically abusive family member as my day time babysitter prior to beginning school. Around that same time, my mother remarried and, at some point, began allowing her husband in my bedroom.
I coped by becoming a perfectionist and peace keeper. Most of my time was spent outside working on the farm and riding horses, which kept me relatively safe.
Once I was old enough to participate in school sports, they became an excellent way for me to release pent up energy and emotion. The independence of driving allowed me to become even more engaged in extra curricular activities. Publicly, my mother adopted the appearance of a doting parent as she manipulated the results of my determination and hard work to reflect well on her. Out of the public eye, nothing changed.
As an adult, I reconnected with my Spirit Guides who lovingly led me through an intense process which led to self acceptance, and ultimately self love. Only then was I able to fully heal, release, and grow through my early trauma. My inner child has grown into a woman who no longer loathes herself, denies herself simple pleasures and even self care, and who is able to accept compliments and gifts without believing they all come with a price. Deep trauma consists of layers. My layers continue to take me deeper into self evaluation; however, now it’s with a focus on more fully becoming an expression of love rather than feelings of inadequacy.